CHEVY JOKES

Now what would a site dedicated to Ford trucks be without a few tasteful jokes about Chevy? Please don't be offended, I'm not one of those people that believes one brand is better than another, but I do enjoy a good joke. I had a friend whose family was die-hard Chevy, so I've always ribbed them over it, even when I drove GM (mostly Oldsmobile and Cavaliers). Disclaimer: Currently, I drive a 2009 Honda Civic.

Enjoy!

Q. How do you double the value of a Chevy?
A. Put gas in it.

Q. How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
A. You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Q. Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
A. So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.

Q. How much wood could a GM truck haul if a GM truck could haul wood?
A. As much as the Ford towing it.

Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.

Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?
A. The bus schedule.

Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Chevy"?
A. Sounds like a fair trade.

Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle?

Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes?
A. Customized.

Q. How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill?
A. Turn the engine off.

Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.

Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
A. Park it between two Fords

Q. What's the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
A. A shopping cart is easier to push.

Q. Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
A. So they will save the Fords gas when the Ford tows them away.

Q. What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
A. Would you like a tow home?

Q. How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
A. Put a Ford engine in it.

Q. Why are the Chevy dealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
A. So the owners have someone to walk home with.

CHEVROLET = Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

CHEVROLET = Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.

CHEVROLET = Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.

CHEVROLET = Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.

CHEVROLET = Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.

CHEVROLET = Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually Towed

CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet

GMC= Garage Man's Companion

GMC= Garbage Manufacturing Company

GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming

GM= General Mistake

GM= Glued Metal

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If it wasn't for our Chevy's, our tools would rust.

From the past 10 years, about 95% of Chevy trucks are still on the road. The rest made it home.

Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say "Speed limit 65, Chevys-do the best you can"

Thats not a leak, my Chevy's just marking its territory.

Buy a Chevy and you buy the best.
Drive the first mile and walk the rest.

I could never keep a Chevy under me, I was always under the Chevy.

Speed Kills, Drive a Chevy and live forever.

A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he had, how many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man, growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat and said to the young man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch and still not get to the other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Chevy truck too"!

"Chevy, built like a rock and runs like one too."

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